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26 June Oh The Irony
So Michael Jackson has died , very sad it is too but the TV is having virtually non stop coverage with extended news and all about him on their current affairs program which follows the news. Tomorrow night there will be a special 90 min show about him. Isn’t this the same guy they have been calling Wacko Jacko for the last 15 years or so. They have had a go at him for everything he has done for years , now he dies and he’s a hero again !!!!!!!! It’s all about tv ratings isn’t it. Don’t get me wrong, the world is a sadder place without him but you can almost hear the glee at the tv stations as they have a story they know will bring in the viewers. What a world we live in. A Walk
Day to day troubles People always there Children blowing bubbles Acting like they don’t care I walk amongst the green Seeing with my eyes Blocking what I’ve seen I walk for miles and miles Feeling rather awkward Floating like a bee Always moving forward Fishing in a sea Don’t know the time The clock it has no face Going down that line Feeling in disgrace Trying to write sad words Wasting my own life Flying like the birds Falling on my knife The sky’s getting dark now Looking what I’ve read Wondering why and how It’s amazing what I’ve said. 24 June SpecialistI will be seeing a specialist on July the second about my nose, hopefully he can do something about it. We splashed out and bought tickets to the B52s concert coming in this December. It’s a long wait but hopefully it will be worth it. The support band is The Proclaimers……..’ I will walk 500 miles and I will walk 500 more just to be the man who walks 1000 miles to fall down at your door ‘ ……….. there now i hope that song is going around and around your head like it is mine , lol . 19 June Writers blockI don’t know if I have writers block or I’m just tired because I’m not sleeping well due to my blocked nose but I haven’t been able to write anything for awhile. I tried to write a story , my first one, but I’ve got stuck there too, oh well. I’m not going to worry about it yet , lol , I’ll see what happens over the next week or so. Here in Victoria we have a lot of cases of swine flu and they say there will be even more so we don’t really want to go anywhere where there are crowds just in case. Bloody pigs lmao. We’ve had bird flu , now swine flu , what’s next ? Ant flu ? Natures a funny thing. 15 June Back From Doctors
Been to see my Doctor and now I have to go for a CT Scan of my sinuses tomorrow , he thinks I will probably have to have another operation but we will have to wait and see what the results are. I don’t see my Doctor again till next monday and he said he’ll probably end up sending me to a specialist if the results aren’t good. Sigh !!!!!!! Life just keeps throwing curveballs at me.
Also my DVD burner in my computer has died so thats more expense. Bugger !!!!!! Doctors
Yes off to the Docs again to see about my sore nose. Not sure what they can do , hopefully its not another operation. Some upcoming movies that you should keep an eye out for - The Road The Time Traveler's Wife The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo ( Swedish version ) Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince Public Enemies Moon If you know of any others let me know :) 10 June Watching Tv
Today was a good day to watch tv and stay inside in the warmth. I watched Team America World Police again , very funny movie . Then sat back and watched about 10 eps of Family Guy in a row , lol that show cracks me up . Tomorrow is going to be cold and wet again so I’ll probably watch another movie , maybe Dawn Of The Dead or something like that . Depends of course on how I am feeling, but we have lots of movies to choose from , thank god for the internet lol. Cold Daytoday was very cold and raining almost non stop , which is good because our dams are currently only 29% full so we need a lot more rain. It looks like the water restrictions for next summer will be even worse than last summer. Probably wont be allowed to water our gardens at all next time. Last summer we could water them twice a week for two hours in the morning . We are going to need a hell of a lot of rain this winter or we'll be in trouble. 09 June TuesdayA twist of light floats across the screen Thoughts unburdened but never seen Moments of time spoken by friends Feeling of doubt which never ends Turning in the sky like a wounded bird Saying the things that are never heard These are the times of which I’ve had Some of them good some of them bad. Another Day , Another Thing Wrong
Years ago I had an operation on my nose because it had become blocked. Well unfortunately I am having the same problem again . My Doctor has tried me on some drugs hoping to clear the problem but it hasn’t worked. So next monday I am going back to see him and I’m worried they might have to operate again . Basically my sinus area is blocked giving me bad sinus related headaches and making it hard to breathe especially at night. I have to try keep my mouth open but once I fall asleep it closes and therefor I have a bad night because I keep waking up because I’m not breathing clearly.
I am currently reading Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams , the last book of the Hitchhikers Guide series. I have read it before but not for awhile. Sometimes its good to read something you have read before that you liked , In fact , I do that alot lol . My wife’s job has been made part time now which means money is a bit tight but it’s great to have her home a couple extra days per week . I don’t get out much so I am grateful for the company. Not only is she my wife but she is my best ever friend too , I feel so lucky to have met her. She is so wonderful considering she has to do almost all the house work as well as working but she never complains or makes me feel guilty because I can’t help her as much as I would like too. 05 June Telephone Always Rings
I have a terrible fear of the telephone, probably due to my social phobia. I hate it when it rings and I have to answer it but worse of all is if I have to make a phone call. I become a bundle of nerves and feel sick and try put it off for as long as possible which makes it worse of course. I guess that’s why I have lost my friends over the years, because I didn’t want to use the phone to talk to them. It’s just part of my life and something I have to get use too I guess. 01 June Story - Part 2It’s not that he didn’t love his family, he just didn’t like them. His Dad was the only one who he kept in contact with and that was rare in itself. TJ had two older brothers and two older sisters so he of course was the baby of the family and they treated him that way. His opinions didn’t matter, he was ignored during conversations and basically he was there to be seen not heard. Now, going on thirty-five, he was over them. The fact that he already had a valid excuse was neither here nor there. He suffered from chronic back pain and nerve damage to his legs but the problem was no one could see it. TJ always joked that he would have got more sympathy from his family if he had two broken legs or was confined to a wheelchair. And on top of that he doubted that they really believed that he suffered from social anxiety, and if they did then they didn’t understand what it was. No, he decided, it was better just to stay home where he felt safe and could rest his injuries. However there still was the matter of an excuse to use but as the party was a month off he could worry about it later and decided to put the matter out of his mind. TJ made a big decision, it was time for another cup of coffee and then back to bed for some more sleep. Sleeping was what he did best as it meant no worries and no pain although he had to take two sleeping tablets and one valium to get off to sleep. Yes, he would worry about everything else later, now he just had to sleep through his hangover, he didn’t need any pills this time. Several hours later and feeling a bit better he woke up and thought to himself; I should get a dog. TJ had always wanted one; just a little one of course given that he lived in a flat. Also there was the problem of house training it and walking it everyday which he knew he wouldn’t be able to manage. Still the thought bubbled inside his head and he made a note to ask the landlord about whether he could get one. This note he stuck on the fridge next to his gas bill which is where most things he wrote down ended up. Every now and then he would have a splurge and pull all the post-it notes off the fridge door and start a fresh. Most things he wrote down he never did because his social anxiety got the better of him so he chickened out of doing them or put them off until it was too late.
As now it was mid afternoon TJ jumped on the internet to see if there were any movies or television shows to download. This was his thing, he never watched any free to air stuff because the ads annoyed him and he hated having to wait months and sometimes years for them to be shown in Australia. Also, he hated going to the cinema because of the crowds, which he found unnerving, and he would also be alone which made things even worse. Now he just downloaded everything he wanted to watch and then sat back in his own place and watched them. Of course he also downloaded music too because it was easy and free. Today the only thing he found worth downloading was a new episode of Family Guy which was one of his favourite shows. He thought about it while it was downloading and decided to watch it later to give him something to look forward too. When it was finished he turned off the computer and started to read a new book he had recently bought on Ebay. It was called ‘Let The Right One In’ and he already loved it even though he had just started it. Soon it was nighttime and he ate the leftovers of yesterday’s pizza, took his pills and went to sleep. At least that’s what he tried to do. As usual, even with the sleeping pills it took him ages to drift off. He spent the time feeling very down about life. He couldn’t stand that he was so lonely. What he would give for a wife or even a girlfriend, someone to hold and talk to. But he felt the chances of him meeting someone nice were pretty slim as he hardly ventured outside unless he had something he had to do. TJ decided to bite the bullet …… and get a dog. The thought thrilled him and he kept himself awake for hours thinking about what fun he would have, and at last he would have company. As he was lying there in bed he heard a commotion going on in the flat next door, there was some yelling and the sound of doors slamming but he wasn’t interested. He had never met his neighbours, well he had but he never made eye contact and if they said hello he would either pretend not to hear, just mumble back and then get away. Eventually he drifted off to sleep. Tonight he didn’t dream. TJ always broke his dreams up into two groups. The first one he called the good ones and these were rare. They usually involved him falling in love with a girl, having lots of friends or being able to fly, which was one he seemed to have a lot for some reason. Sometimes they seemed so real that when he woke up, just for a few seconds, he thought they were real. The second lots of dreams, the bad ones, were not always nightmares but sad lonely dreams. He seemed to have quite a few of these which weren’t surprising given his life so far. |
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