Yes we are coming to that part of the year that fills me with dread. Christmas time !!! Suddenly all the shops are crowded and its hard to park. So many people , it always brings on my anxiety attacks. Then of course there is eating lunch with the rest of my family which I always find uncomfortable as I don’t fit in with them at all.

Also I always feel sad after Christmas day as it used to be so exciting when I was little but now it’s nothing but a let down.

I don’t know why I feel like I do but that’s just me I guess.

I’ve been trying to write some more positive poetry but I don’t seem able too. I guess I only write when I’m feeling bad , is that a god thing or not ?

This is me with my Aunt Betty . I never knew her much until recently but we have developed a strong bond . She likes books and movies like we do and she is great to talk to . And , unlike the rest of my family, is happy to see both me and my wife. We talk a lot on the phone but its a long drive for me to go to her place very often unfortunately.

This is a rare picture of our two dogs , Coco and Buster , sleeping with my mother in laws dog, Suzie.

Suzie is the black one, Buster is the grey one and Coco is upside down in her bed. lol

one hundred tiny minds
one hundred different kinds
so it seems
what it means
to you and me
for others to see
what it takes
how it breaks
lost in thought
for wars we fought
where to begin
to wash the sin
of our own mood
of life we sued
the day will end
the words will bend
for all our sake
our words will break
there's no tomorrow
for strife and sorrow
there's only today
that's what I say.

My mother in law is going to be staying with us for a few days as she is having a small eye operation and she’ll need looking after.

I’m struggling with my sleep patterns as I have reduced my intake of sleeping tablets as my body was getting to use to them I think.

I have used up most of my monthly allowance from my ISP as I downloaded the complete Inspector Morse onto dvd which will be great for viewing over the boring summer months of non rating Tv shows.

We have replaced all our old globes with low energy saving ones now so hopefully that will cut down our electricity bills a bit.

We just got a letter saying our gas bill is going to go up by nearly double which is a shock, looks like we will have to stop using our central heating so much during winter.

Oh well , off to make some lunch and then read a bit before my mother in law rolls up.

Take care all.

Pete

Driven to the edge of insanity

left to rot by humanity

build up the walls around me

build them up so I'll never be free

sometimes I just want to be alone

living my life on my own

ending it when I see fit

putting out the candle when it was lit

it's my life, it's my life

woven between struggle and strife

where are the friends who were there before

driving a knife right through to the core

dogs bark and birds fly away

and I fight for the words that I want to say

what it is I really mean

hidden by life I've so rarely seen.

I have been using windows 7 for a couple of weeks now and it is the best operating system Microsoft have put out.

I used to think windows xp was great but this one is brilliant. I wish I had a newer computer to make full use of it but I can’t afford to upgrade.

with the fall of rainbows

where the sky meets the sea

with deep depressing lows

that’s where you’ll find me.

hidden by unknown people

in my own private place

like a church’s steeple

built by black lace.

deciding between two things

between life and death

dealing with what life brings

and coping with the rest.

standing on the edge of a cliff

waiting to fly above

with the wind I feel the lift

flying like the wings of a dove.